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Talk:Even So/@comment-8248793-20150821220258
SPOILERS I'm not really positive which section I left off...So I'll just give you comments on the sections I read today. Excuses - I can see what you meant by the names of your friends x3 I can kinda tell a few but there are two or three I'm not sure of :3. I'm not sure if the count of the leaders' genders is important but if it is, I'm interested to know why you mentioned it. This was definitely a good theme, although I'm not sure if I see how it fits the "Excuses" part of it. Vengeance - Oh huh who is this Blue O: I don't remember a Blue from Otherwise, and most definitely don't know if Blue was in the personal guard that was chosen...? Maybe she was the replacement of Faith... Except this episode was so sad I can't even. I remember you showing me this part of the whole story that one day and I definitely felt grief for the kits but today when I finished this section it was worse because I knew who the kits were. You did a great job of showing us a regular day/event of Even So and then hitting us hard with the kits' execution. Love - I'm not really sure what to put for this section since there's not much content other than them hunting. I do like how you managed to connect this section to "love" and how you really show Lash's love for the kits, and for her hunters. (maybe Lash/Embers? xD I swear I thought this section was gonna be about them lol) Tears - Hm this section got a lot shorter... Again, it barely fit the theme but that's alright since I'm not here for the fact that you need to fit the themes, I'm here because I enjoy the story. You definitely had me feeling for the kits again :c And I'm hoping that Lash does gain her freedom, although I doubt it'll actually work. My Inspiration - There wasn't much content in this, as it was mostly them sorting prey. I'm guessing Lash's inspiration is to free everyone and perhaps gain some of her own freedom? I really like how you use these short sections to really express who Lash really is as you have no need to move forward in the plot yet. Never Again - Isn't Lash supposed to be with her hunters? Or is she just letting her group go hunting by themselves and then hopping into another work area? I feel like it was abrupt to have her suddenly want to join the rivers today, just like when she hopped into the builders last time. And the blood part really made me nervous because I wasn't sure what they would have found. Once More -''' I forgot to mention this in the last section by I found their signals really interesting. It's pretty cool how Lash could easily communicate with Harvey with subtle motions, although I think you should have introduced Harvey and their connection faster before throwing them together for the next plot. Did Harvey die though? Though I'm surprised the overseer lost control, but I'm glad we got to see this side of him and the passionate sides of his sisters. '''Failure - I got a bit scared when I read this section because I thought the overseer would do something to Lash or something. Though I'm happy that Lash has control now, but if she really wanted to free all the cats, shouldn't she have announced the overseer's secret? Maybe that's just me. I really like how you gave her the power now and how she's free, although it doesn't seem like she's free because she doesn't have any way to get all the cats out still. Great job on this story so far, I definitely love all your characters, and I'm excited for you to update more :) <3 END SPOILERS